


hate that you know me so well.

by rannas



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Character Study, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Alternating, Slow Build, pov shifts on physical contact
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-08-24 03:03:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16631660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rannas/pseuds/rannas
Summary: This whole thing was kind of weird. Ryuji never expected to have anything in common with someone like Yusuke. He definitely did not expect hanging out with him to feel this natural.





	1. Chapter 1

Ryuji had left the gym within moments of arriving. Damn track guys were there today and he wasn’t ready for that shit. Not without Ren to calm him down and make him say rational stuff for once. It was better just to find another place. He probably should have stayed and studied with Ann and Ren now that he thinks of it, but his body was itching for a workout. And his mind… well it sure as hell never itched for some studying. He would never get that actual desire to study. Not that Ann was into that school stuff either, she just had better self control sometimes (just not when it came to desserts).  

He made his way to the subway, maybe he’d just get some ramen instead. But damn he really did want to work out… Running in the park was not the same. It was hot and hard as hell to navigate with his leg. Uneven pavement made running even more of a bitch then it already was. Plus it was always better with someone to keep your pace. Competing is half the fun. Ryuji’s train of thought slammed to stop when he caught sight of his friend near the station.

Yusuke was holding his sketchbook, but it didn’t take any art knowledge from Ryuji to know there was no way in hell he was gonna sketch in it holding it like that. Not to mention the absolutely pitiful expression on his face. What was this kid who looked like a damn model doing with an expression that was a somehow a mix between helpless puppy and sad toddler?

“Yusuke.” Ryuji shouted and waved as he made his way over to the other boy.

  
Yusuke voice was as sad as his body language as he replied. “Ah, hello Ryuji.”

“You okay man?” Ryuji asked, feeling a little uncomfortable. He was kinda shit with all this touchy feely stuff and knowing Yusuke it was probably something real dramatic and deep and would involve him throwing out all sorts of words he barely understood.

“I have been struggling with a terrible art block. I am a sham of an artist.” Yusuke covered his face with his hand like he was in a damn play. Ryuji would have normally rolled his eyes at this level of melodrama but damn if he didn’t feel sorry for the guy. His old mentor was a piece of shit and now he couldn’t do what he clearly loved doing. Shit, of course he understood that. Kamoshida had ruined running for him, so he didn’t want all this stuff with Madarame shouldn’t ruin Yusuke’s art. They were friends now after all.

Ryuji gave his best grin but it didn’t seem to have much effect on Yusuke’s mopey expression, “I’m goin’ to the park, wanna come with?”

“I thank you for the invitation Ryuji. However, I am lacking in the funds to cover the fare.” Yusuke looked pained once again.

Ryuji sighed, of course, typical Yusuke. “Dude whatever, I’ve got you. Let’s go.”

“Are you quite sure?” Yusuke was looking at him brightly and Ryuji felt a rush of warmth. Like warm air on a summer run, it felt nice making Yusuke look like that. He usually saw him brooding lately and before that staring angrily as he threatened to have him and Ren arrested. Good times.

They board the train and ride quietly. Ryuji plays games on his phone while Yusuke looks blankly at his sketchbook. Ryuji looks up off and on and again feels bad for how frustrated Yusuke looked. Poor guy. When they get to the park and Ryuji leads the way to a nice secluded area. Better to not be annoyed by stupid couples and people with their kids who seemed to always be in the park screaming and carrying on. Probably not good for art, definitely not good for his head.

It was a nice little overlook. Definitely the kind of thing you could sketch or paint or what not. Several times Yusuke would look around, then pick up his pencil and freeze. He repeated that several times while Ryuji carefully watched him. What a mess… there had to be something he could do. He was a Phantom Thief after all, and giving courage to people in need was all in the job description right? And the better Yusuke was, the stronger they’d be as a group. And they had to take down someone big next. And if anyone was smart enough to deal with that pesky student council president it was this kid.

“Still strugglin’ huh?” Ryuji finally broke the silence.

“Yes. I fear that this will never pass.” A dramatic statement accompanied with an equally dramatic sigh.

“Y’know I felt like that too kinda.” Ryuji shoved his hands in his pockets and looked away. He hadn’t really gotten into all of this with anyone but Ren. But maybe having another guy to confide in wouldn’t be so bad. After all, he used to be cool with all those track guys. Not that it worked out well, they clearly weren’t friends for life or whatever. But he had one of those gut feelings that Ren really was that kind of guy. And Yusuke definitely wasn’t like anyone he’d ever been friends with before but maybe that was a good thing. His mom always told him to “expand his horizons” after the whole track thing went down. Making friends with a real wierdo like Yusuke would totally count right?

“What do you mean Ryuji?” Yusukes gaze was intense as always, almost making him regret starting this whole feelings talk.

Ryuji scratched his head, frowning as he thought about the whole thing. “That scumbag Kamoshida you know. Asshole gets our coach fired and comes into track putting us through all sorts of shitty training. Punished us for the stupidest stuff. And if that wasn’t enough the asshole rubs my useless father in my face. And stupid old me punches the bastard in the face.” Ryuji punches his own hand to accent the statement, feeling the old anger well up again. He knew he was speaking loud and getting worked up but he couldn’t help himself. “So Kamoshida acts in self defense or whatever and shoves me to the ground, leg made a big crack as I went down. And then because of me attacking a teacher and all... they got rid of the track team. Broken leg and all the guys hate my guts. They call me the track traitor.”

“Track traitor? How trite of them.” Yusuke looked offended on his behalf, which was nice. And trite must be Yusuke talk for shitty or petty. Something like that.

“Yeah. Guess so.” Ryuji mumbled. He still felt the anger rise just thinking about it all. He didn’t tell this story much, after all he had only told Ren a few weeks ago. But something about Yusuke’s calm and thoughtful expression gave him that same desire to spill his guts he got when he was around Ren.  

“What about your leg?” Yusuke’s voice was so concerned, and weirdly enough it calmed him. It had been so long since anyone but his mom cared about his shit it was really something to have someone who’d only known him for a month be this nice. First Ren and now Yusuke. Maybe he’d have a group of guys to rely on again. That’d be nice.

“Just finally recovered enough to actually do stuff. Took forever. But that’s why I’m starting running again. I’ve been training with Ren and everything. So I dunno but I think you gotta do the same Yusuke, even if running and art are different.” Ryuji grinned, hoping it would inspire some sort of positivity in Yusuke- despite everything going on.

“Hmm.” Man cheering up this guy was damn near impossible. Must be an artist thing.

“I mean all artists go through that stuff right? Slumps and all. You just gotta push through. Like yeah my leg being effed up didn’t help but I’m starting to realize it’s kind of just in my head.” Ryuji wasn’t even sure if he was making sense anymore.

“Yes. While it is common for artists to suffer from a creative block, there is the unfortunate reality that my very living arrangement depends heavily on my ability to produce quality work. Without my scholarship I would not longer be able to afford to attend Kosei and I certainly would be evacuated from the dorms and forced to carry on in the grimy streets of the city.” Yusuke was getting melodramatic again, accompanied with over the top gestures. He was actually just standing there with his hand covering his face like he was in some goddamn anime.

“Dude calm down. We’d find you a place to stay. Like my mom and me don’t got a big place but I’d find you some space on our couch. And you know Boss wouldn’t let you live on the streets.” His voice was getting real high unsure just how to counter Yusuke’s fears of somehow being homeless. Cause as dramatic as it was, Yusuke was kind of right. He was alone in this world. Sure Ryuji had a shitty dad, but his mom more then made up for it. Yusuke’s mom was well….dead. And the man he considered a father was in jail.

This whole thing was kind of weird. He never expected to have anything in common with someone like Yusuke. He definitely did not expect hanging out with him to feel this natural. 

“That is very kind of you Ryuji.” A sliver of a smile crept back on to Yusuke’s face. Maybe he wasn’t as bad at the whole comforting thing as he thought.  
“And you don’t gotta worry about painting the next big masterpiece or whatever. Just gotta do something to break the slump. Like my running is shit right now. I’m slow as hell but I’m doing it. I don’t know crap ‘bout art but I’m sure you’ll be able to come up with something.” Ryuji reached over to try and be a little better with the whole comfort thing. He moved to just like pat the guys back and move on but he ended up lingering for some reason. Now he was just like rubbing Yusuke’s back for no goddamn reason but somehow that thought didn’t stop him. He was no master of the human form or whatever but with his hand on Yusuke’s back he couldn’t help but notice his build and honestly art students weren’t supposed to be this muscular right? Did Yusuke get that strong just from their time in the Metaverse or did he like work out? Ryuji froze- what the hell was his brain doing? That’s not what the problem was, the real question was why on earth was his hand _still_ on his back.


	2. Chapter 2

Yusuke involuntarily stiffened under his touch before relaxing as Ryuji ran his hand across his back. It was kind of an erratic motion but slow enough to still be calming. He could feel the other’s nails lightly through his shirt and the pressure calmed him. 

“Ryuji, I-” The other boy’s hand froze on his back and he was interrupted by Ryuji stammering and looking pointedly away from Yusuke.

“Um.. damn it’s getting late man. I gotta run home. My mom needs me” Ryuji’s eyes were wider than he’d ever seen them and he wondered if he did anything wrong. It had seemed like a nice talk. It was the most time the two of them had ever spent without the company of Ren and Ann. It had been rather unexpected to run into Ryuji in the throes of his despair over his current condition but it had turned out to be quite enlightening. 

Obviously flustered, Ryuji struggled a bit pulling out his wallet and grabbing some money. He shoved it at Yusuke’s chest and turned and departed from the park. The slight limp evident in his stride. Must be an after effect of the injury. Perhaps he should count himself lucky to not have any physical remnants of his time with Madarame. All he had was this terrible voice in the back of his head that doubted him at every turn. Pesky as it was, it may prove easier to overcome then a broken limb. 

“So long Ryuji.” Yusuke whispered as he watched him run off, feeling a little sad that he was gone but also a little better from their encounter. He pulls out his sketchbook and began to sketch the surroundings. Pedestrian as landscapes were- Ryuji was right. Something was better than nothing. He ended up staying in the park until the sun started to set. The beams of red-orange light feeling more inspiring than oppressive for the first time in a while. 

The next few days, he went back to his usual spot in Shibuya after classes let out, people watching in hopes of something striking him. At least his sketchbook wasn’t as empty as it was before. He didn’t see Ryuji and the Phantom Thieves did not meet. He saw Ren and he mentioned needing supplies. Must mean more hanging out with that rather strange doctor he saw him with once. 

He finally saw him again on a Friday, engrossed in his phone. Likely he was on his way to the arcade, that was where he had mentioned enjoying spending time. A place that was hardly his scene. 

Perking up, Yusuke called out and waved. Ryuji looked up and made his way over. An odd expression on his face. Perhaps there was some lingering oddness from their last encounter. Ryuji had left in quite a strange fashion. It would be shame after such an enlightening talk to end things on such terms. Hopefully another afternoon together could reconcile the strangeness between the two. He’d never really had friends his age 

“Are you going on a run today? I am going to the park to draw today and figured you may want to join. You do not have to pay for my fare today, I skipped lunch for the occasion.” Sure his stomach grumbles regularly but he had spent so much on new brushes last week he was spectacularly short on funds. The real tragedy being that the brushes with his current art block remained unopened and unused. 

“Nah… kinda effed up my knee more tripping on a rock running the last time.” Ryuji replied sheepishly, kicking his good leg against the ground. 

“Alright then. Some other time.” He smiled, as nice as company was, he was also used to doing most things solo. 

Ryuji was scratching his head and looking all together quite awkward. “Hell, I could use the fresh air though. Let’s go.”

“Very well.” Yusuke smiled. Relieved that whatever awkwardness existed between them was not going to interfere with being able to spend an afternoon together. Or even worse affect their work as Phantom Thieves. A mementos trip was in order soon after all. Ren said he was just waiting on information on one more target first. 

Their subway trip was uneventful. Ryuji continued to play some game on his phone that did not interest Yusuke in the slightest. What did perk his interest somewhat was the angle of his slight smile and furrowed brow in concentration as he stared at the screen. Yusuke pulled out his sketchbook and began penciling in a jawline and intent expression before the train came to a stop. 

Yusuke closed his book quickly. Something about sketching Ryuji like that felt  _ intrusive.  _ He had often sketched strangers in various activities but something felt different when it was someone he knew. He was not quite sure why it felt like that but he also was not keen on telling him or throwing the sketch away. All in all, it was a moment worth capturing. 

They walked to the same overlook, idly chattering. Mostly Ryuji complaining about school and how it was a pain that he wasn’t even  in the same class as Ann and Ren. He had never really considered that besides the fact they all went to Shujin, Ryuji did not really spend all day with the others as he had always pictured. 

While it was a secluded area, they were still interrupted every so often by some passer by. Most didn’t get either of their attention, but a college age male running past did catch Ryuji’s eye, and Yusuke noticed an odd expression creep across his face. He was clearly becoming a master at studying Ryuji’s expression, he could determine it was a flicker of something between jealousy and longing. Odd as for all he knew, the man who passed was just a stranger. But he had a feeling he knew what spurred that particular look. 

“You miss it.” Yusuke remarked pensively.

“Uh what?” Ryuji was clearly confused. Not unexpected as he had not quite elaborated on his statement.    


“Running.” And with that another strange look came over Ryuji’s face. One he really could not pin down. Fingers itched to grab his sketchbook and pencil in the lines of his eyes softening and creasing together, the slight parting of his lips. It was such an intriguing look he didn’t even consider that Ryuji had not responded and was just still looking at him. Perhaps this was his chance to ‘clear the air’ from the last time.

“I’m sorry by the way.” He broke the silence finally.

“Uhhh what?” Ryuji’s voice cracked slightly in surprise.

“For the last time we hung out here. I must have said something wrong for you to run away like that. I thought if we came back here it would trigger my memory to remembering what I could have done to upset you. But I am still unsure.” He frowned, perhaps this was not worth bringing up.

“For real? Man, it wasn’t anything you did. Like it was nice having a bro to talk about shit with but then uhhh… It was weird you know, touching a guy for that long.” Was he blushing? Was it really that embarrassing. Yusuke had never really considered that. 

“Oh.” Yusuke looked thoughtfully back at Ryuji. Was it really that weird? Physical contact was not his forte after all. Madarame was hardly physically affectionate with him, which honestly was a blessing in retrospect. He did not really have a close friend, had Ryuji’s gesture somehow crossed that line? In his mandatory science courses, they had discussed experimentation and the need for repeated trials. It had made sense- after all art required many repetitions to get things right. He had drawn notebooks upon notebooks of eyes, hands, and other features to get them right. Perhaps this was the same.

So he placed his hand on Ryuji’s shoulder, carefully watching for a reaction. He could feel the warmth of his skin under the thin t-shirt and could not resist but to swipe his thumb across his shoulder, fully taking in the sensation. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each chapter will likely have their own POV shifts as it picks up.


	3. Chapter 3

“What the hell?” But really what the hell. And what the hell was he doing not grabbing the dudes hand and moving it off his shoulder. Is he trying to prove some sort of point? Yusuke was just looking at him blankly, and Ryuji wasn’t sure just what he was supposed to do. God, this kid was weird. First he does all that reading his mind shit out of nowhere and now he’s just standing here holding his shoulder as if that’s a normal thing to do. Not that Yusuke did normal. In fact that almost made this less weird. Almost but not really. But after he didn’t respond, he figured he better ask nicely with less cursing like his mom liked. “Ok… why is your hand on my shoulder dude?” 

“I wanted to see if it truly was weird. Is it?” Yusuke just tilted his head innocently at him. It would be easier to be pissed at him for pulling shit like this if he didn’t look at him like that. When he first met him, all he ever saw was a pretentious pretty boy. Now, despite being taller than him was looking at him like some sort of innocent child. And he just didn’t have it in him to be an ass to him.

“I mean I guess not.” Ryuji admitted. Truth was it felt kinda nice. Definitely awkward just standing there like that but the actual contact… kinda reassuring. After feeling like an outcast for so long, it felt kinda nice. A little different from the high fives and slaps from the track team- but nice all the same. “It’s still not something people really do, you know that right.”

Yusuke scoffed. “I observe people daily Ryuji. You would be surprised.” 

“Why do you do that?” Perfect chance to ask a question he’d been wondering for a while. Why was he always lurking around the grimy station instead of hanging out a cafe or somewhere else artsy like that. 

“Well… mostly for inspiration. Being in such a large city provides a multitude of people and gestures to study.” A pained expression flitted across his face. “And I guess, part of it was a chance to escape from the atelier sometimes. It got rather lonely after all the other pupils left.” 

Ryuji bit his lip. Yusuke did not talk often about his time in that bastard Madarame’s shack. And he had never really fully thought of what it would be like to live in that place. Alone. Even when things were bad- at least he had his mom. But needing a distraction… that he got. Video games and running were his go to’s when he thoughts he just didn’t wanna deal with. 

“Yeah, sometimes you just need a distraction from your own thoughts. Any time I start thinking about my deadbeat dad… I just gotta go to the arcade and shoot some stuff.” 

“Hmm.. I have never considered the arcade. Nor have I ever heard you speak of your father.” Yusuke didn’t pry. Which Ryuji appreciated. Better to spare the expletive laced hate speech against his dad for another time. 

Yusuke chuckled , “How strange… everytime we spend time here I seem to just pour my soul out to you without intending to.” 

“Same… kinda weird right? Guess that means we’re friends now right?”

“Were we not before?”  Yusuke did that head tilt thing again, a strands of hair falling in front of his face. Some weird part of him, that voice that pops up now and then told him to push it away. But touchy stuff aside, luckily sense kicked in and he kept his hands to himself. 

“ I mean yeah. But like it’s different when you like hang out one on one you know.” 

“I guess that is true. I must be honest. I have not spent much time with other people like this. My time with Ren and yourself has been quite a change.” 

“Yea… things really changed when he came huh?” For one, he definitely would have never run into Yusuke Kitagawa and consider him a friend. They were too different. Different schools, different lives, different personalities. 

They hung out at the park til sunset. Banter between them light hearted and easy. The silences did not feel awkward. Yusuke would sketch and Ryuji stretched. Still weird just how comfortable this all was. They said their goodbyes and went their separate ways.

Yusuke ends up popping up in his thoughts way more than he cared to admit. They are too busy with Phantom Thief stuff to have one of their odd hang outs. And it isn’t like it is with Ren and Ann where he can just text him whenever outside the group chat. He typed out a couple before deleting them. He didn’t really know how to text Yusuke. Somehow he didn’t think he’d appreciate random memes during class or dirty jokes.

“How fortuitous of us to run into each other this morning. I did not expect to see you.” That smile really did make Yusuke look like a damn model. Annoying. 

“No one says shit like that you know.”  And it wasn’t exactly… whatever that word was… this was very planned. He knew on Wednesdays Yusuke went to the shrine before school and knew if he timed it right their trains would cross on his way to Shujiin. 

“I apologize, I have always so desperately sought the approval of adults, my vocabulary is not quite as casual as most my age.” Yusuke frowned slightly. 

_ Oh _ . Good thing his feet weren’t that big cause he just fricking loved sticking them in mouth apparently. 

“I’m sorry dude. I guess it’s just hard for a guy like me to understand. Everything you say is like poetry and shit. I just sound kinda dumb or like a delinquent I guess.’

“You sound like Ryuji. I like that you speak freely.” 

“You like that I say dumb shit?” Eyebrow raised at this surprising statement. He should say something about how despite it taking him a bit to process everything Yusuke said, he rather liked how smart and poetic it all sounded. 

“Oh yeah, I brought something for you!” Ryuji wanted to ignore the warm feeling he was getting from Yusuke saying that. He didn’t entirely get it but it was just nice to hear that someone like him didn’t dread every word that came out of his own stupid mouth. He fished in his backpack and pulled out a cup of instant ramen, His favorite flavor. Sure it wouldn’t keep Yusuke fed longer then like a day but he had mentioned skipping meals at the last Phantom Thieves meet up and well they could not have that if they were gonna take down all these shitty adults. And his mind definitely was not thinking about how cool Yusuke's fingers were when he passed over the ramen. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by Bleachers- Hate that You Know Me. Going to switch back between perspectives of Ryuji and Yusuke everytime physical contact is made- sort of a play on the Baton Pass if you will.


End file.
